Shattering the glass slipper
Time to Shatter my Glass Slipper
Taking the escalator on the way to work one morning, catching a glimpse of blue sky on the way up, I realized- [Tweet "I am a self supporting single woman, and I love my life."] I feel successful, finally. A beautiful work in progress in my own right, complete without a significant other. As it happens, it was also International Women’s Day, and through serendipity, I was wearing violet.
Where is Prince Charming?
Up to that moment, I always felt there was something missing, and success somehow didn’t count unless you also had a man. Even when my personal and professional dreams came true and I moved to Paris for an exciting job, I still had the nagging suspicion that something was awry since Prince Charming hadn’t shown up. Every spunky Disney princess finds her match, after all.
Just thinking about the prospect of remaining single, and the one who “got away,” brought up a bottomless hole of shame and guilt for all the ways I didn’t feel good enough. Read: OPINION – Does Singleism exist? Surely, I thought, if I really deserved it, the universe would have found some love for me by now.
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinem
[Tweet "A certain wise business coached diagnosed my “Cinderella Syndrome,” "] and advised me to go out and make friends and live my life. I realized I needed to stop waiting, and take every trip regardless of whether I had that special someone to share it with, to make a home in my new city on my own.
Don’t wait for someone to look after you -it may not happen. Invest in yourself now!
Slowly, gradually, I came to realize that I do really deserve love, most importantly from myself. And I don’t need a man to complete me.
That business coach called me out on wanting a man to come and save me from the loneliness I felt after making a big move. She suggested I go out and make friends, and helped me become a better friend to myself.
“We have become the men we wanted to marry.” Gloria Steinem
Unlocking the Tower
The hero I waited my whole life to save me isn’t coming. I had the power to break the curse of loneliness all along. No man could have replaced genuine self-fullfillment or made it any less necessary to become a friend to myself. Read:Why your relationship choice is a career choice. I read somewhere about how you have to marry yourself first, and while it hasn’t been easy to be a friend to myself and never abandon my dreams, I have no regrets.
This is a truly happy, freeing ending of a lifetime of a flawed, harmful belief that my own life was not enough to be happy about. That I couldn’t be a heroine without a leading man.
For the first time, I have unlocked the tower and chosen freedom, turned my inner beast into the beauty of self knowledge rather than loving someone who made me feel like a monster. The evil stepmother, my inner critic, holds no power over me, I choose not to let myself be abused.
The most important arc of the story of my life is not about romantic love - it is about me, becoming myself.
I’m free of the myth that only love can make my life complete.
The glass slipper is shattered.
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Dates for the Diary
JUNE 6-8TH 2019 - OMBUDSPERON EUROPEAN WOMEN’S LOBBY BRUSSELS
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