Shattering the glass slipper
Time to Shatter my Glass Slipper
Taking the escalator on the way to work one morning, catching a glimpse of blue sky on the way up, I realized- [Tweet "I am a self supporting single woman, and I love my life."] I feel successful, finally. A beautiful work in progress in my own right, complete without a significant other. As it happens, it was also International Women’s Day, and through serendipity, I was wearing violet.
Where is Prince Charming?
Up to that moment, I always felt there was something missing, and success somehow didn’t count unless you also had a man. Even when my personal and professional dreams came true and I moved to Paris for an exciting job, I still had the nagging suspicion that something was awry since Prince Charming hadn’t shown up. Every spunky Disney princess finds her match, after all.
Just thinking about the prospect of remaining single, and the one who “got away,” brought up a bottomless hole of shame and guilt for all the ways I didn’t feel good enough. Read: OPINION – Does Singleism exist? Surely, I thought, if I really deserved it, the universe would have found some love for me by now.
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinem
[Tweet "A certain wise business coached diagnosed my “Cinderella Syndrome,” "] and advised me to go out and make friends and live my life. I realized I needed to stop waiting, and take every trip regardless of whether I had that special someone to share it with, to make a home in my new city on my own.
Don’t wait for someone to look after you -it may not happen. Invest in yourself now!
Slowly, gradually, I came to realize that I do really deserve love, most importantly from myself. And I don’t need a man to complete me.
That business coach called me out on wanting a man to come and save me from the loneliness I felt after making a big move. She suggested I go out and make friends, and helped me become a better friend to myself.
“We have become the men we wanted to marry.” Gloria Steinem
Unlocking the Tower
The hero I waited my whole life to save me isn’t coming. I had the power to break the curse of loneliness all along. No man could have replaced genuine self-fullfillment or made it any less necessary to become a friend to myself. Read:Why your relationship choice is a career choice. I read somewhere about how you have to marry yourself first, and while it hasn’t been easy to be a friend to myself and never abandon my dreams, I have no regrets.
This is a truly happy, freeing ending of a lifetime of a flawed, harmful belief that my own life was not enough to be happy about. That I couldn’t be a heroine without a leading man.
For the first time, I have unlocked the tower and chosen freedom, turned my inner beast into the beauty of self knowledge rather than loving someone who made me feel like a monster. The evil stepmother, my inner critic, holds no power over me, I choose not to let myself be abused.
The most important arc of the story of my life is not about romantic love - it is about me, becoming myself.
I’m free of the myth that only love can make my life complete.
The glass slipper is shattered.
What if you could build self confidence just like you build other muscles? Join our Self Confidence Coaching program Now!
Found that interesting?
Learn more about our services
Make your dreams a reality with a professional evaluation of your career to date.
The evidence is in. More women in your company can deliver 35% greater financial returns. (Catalyst)
Dates for the Diary
November 12th European Commission DG GROW
Informal talk on how to deal with sexism - 12.30 - 1400
November 25th Council of the European Union - Corporate Event
How to deal with sexism and harassment in the workplace
Download and listen free podcasts
How to Create an Effective USP What is a USP? Our Unique Selling Point or UVP (Unique Value Proposition) is our key core message about where...read more
How to Rethink the Modern Workplace for Gender Equality New research shows that diversity and inclusion is a top priority for leaders. So why...read more
Menopause in the workplace In this podcast with Nicki Williams award winning author, keynote speaker and Founder of Happy Hormones for Life,...read more
How to Cultivate Empathy in the Workplace Nancy Milton, international business communications expert, keynote speaker and author, share some vital...read more
Taking Care of your COW Tanvi Guatam, international Personal Branding expert says there is a misconception out there that a personal brand is...read more
The importance of Hard Talk Dawn Metcalfe, author of Managing the Matrix and Hard Talk, shares with us tips to achieve the lasting communication...read more
When Does Female Rivalry Turn into Sabotage There’s a lot of stuff written on social media about female rivalry and competition between women. Some...read more
Goal setting tips to boost your career The happiest people are those that really love their jobs. Those that don’t, dread Sunday nights and...read more
Sexism: How to stage a Bystander Intervention in the Workplace In this power coaching podcast, we're going to tackle one of the questions...read more
How to Get Noticed by Head Hunters & Recruiters In this power coaching podcast, we're going to tackle one of the questions asked multiple...read more
A company might sound like they are diverse and inclusive, but make sure to do a thorough investigation into gender washing.read more
It might not be apparently obvious how a consensual relationship can turn someone into a poor brand ambassador, but we need to take into account the power structures at play.read more
We tend to think of single-sex education as being an antiquated notion, but maybe it could solve some of our more contemporary issues.read more