These 12 tips will change the way people see you and treat you

by | May 20, 2017

Can you really change the way people see you?

No wants to work with, or help, someone they don't like.

No matter who you are, what level of an organization you work at or in what kind of industry it is important to be liked. According to research done by Tiziana Casciaro at Harvard Business School, people would rather work with a like-able person who is incompetent than with someone highly competent but obnoxious. She also found that people are more likely to notice an increase in your like-ability than an increase in your technical skills.

You'll never be liked by everyone but social skills matter so here are my top 12 practical tips for making sure that people like you. They're not rocket science but they're not easy either.

Read: 18 Things Respected Well-Liked Leaders Consistently Do

12 tips to change the way people see you

1) Decide that it matters

Most of us have to work at being likeable but research shows that the biggest barrier is not caring. That means if you just decide you want to do better at being like-able you probably will.

2) Care about others

The most important thing you can do to be more like-able is to like more people. Even someone who doesn't seem to be "your sort" will have at least one thing that you like or find interesting. Find it and remember it.

3) Take responsibility

[Tweet "You are responsible for creating positive relationships"] so put as much effort into that as you do into other parts of your work.

Read: 4 ways to improve your relationship with your boss

4) Don't try to fool people

Toxic Relationships

You've got to be genuine - any mask we wear eventually falls and people are unlikely to forgive you if they feel deceived. Change the way people see you for good.

5) Think about what other people want

If you want to be liked, help others to reach their goals. In the long run this will make it easier for you to reach yours.

6) Don't forget flattery

This doesn't mean begin insincere. Often we like someone because we feel liked by them. Everyone has something about them that you can like or find impressive. When you spot it, tell them.

7) Be confident.

It doesn't matter how lovely you are if no-one gets to speak with you. Work on your self esteem so you can look people in the eye - it's hard to like someone if you think they're avoiding you!

Read: Assertive Communication – Building Healthy Relationships

8) Ask questions and listen

58217480 - young cheerful business woman making notes during a meeting. businesswoman listening to senior businessman while in meeting. happy young business woman in a brainstorming with colleague in office boardroom.

Listening is the key to likeability

If you want to be liked then become interested in others. Nobody is so boring that this isn't possible. Ask open questions, listen to the replies and follow up with more questions.

9) Be positive

If you want to be liked then don't spend your day complaining and being negative. Unbridled optimism is not the answer but there is no reason to bring everyone else down because you've had a bad day - save that for your close friends or partner.

10) Don't gossip or backbite

Making others look bad almost always comes back to haunt you. Be very careful before passing on gossip.

11) Remember names

People hate it when you don't remember their names. It shows a lack of interest. Do whatever works for you to get better at this.

12) Smile

If you smile often, you appear as a friendly, outgoing, and light hearted person. It also makes you feel happier. In other words, you're more like-able!

Originally posted on LinkedIn on May 20th 2014

Does your team  need to improve their relationships? Contact 3Plus now!

Dawn Metcalfe Contributor
Dawn is Author of (Managing the Matrix and HardTalk), speaker, trainer and coach and Managing Director at PDSi. PDSi helps individuals, teams and organizations get even better at what they do. Based in Dubai, we work with large multinationals and the best regional firms across the Gulf.
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