We need to stop tolerating the intolerable
Sexual harassment needs to be stopped by men and women alike
Sexism and sexual harassment are a global preoccupation at the moment. But we have to take concrete steps to stop tolerating the intolerable.
As the news about sexual harassment continues to dominate the headlines, there is a global preoccupation with the emerging salubrious details. Who did what to whom, when and what's going to happen now? The reality is that we are asking the wrong question about sexual harassment. We mainly focus on who has experienced sexism and sexual harassment. But because it is so widespread wouldn't it be quicker and easier to establish the reverse? Who hasn't experienced sexism or sexual harassment? The answer would be almost no women at all.
Accepting the unacceptable
I come from a generation where groping hands, inappropriate comments and lewd leers were par for the course for women in the workplace. We were the first band of "career girls". We were fighting a hard battle to make our way in male coded and dominated workplaces with sexist corporate cultures. I am not talking about casting couch activities, although I am sure that was the experience of many, but the daily grind of having to navigate the challenges of toxic male cultures. As women we learned and communicated which men to avoid in the lift or the photo copy room. But by not calling it out, we enabled all activities. We had an informal black list and coded language which is still found today in politics and Hollywood.
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But we were caught between a rock and a hard place. Who would we have called any sexism and sexual harassment out to? Men at the time did not identify the behaviour as wrong or unacceptable. It was their norm too. And women? There were few women champions and those that were there were in the "suck it up and get on with it, they don't mean anything by it" brigade.
We could have resigned and gone elsewhere - but it would have been part of that company's culture too. Sexism and sexual harassment was everywhere. We would have jumped straight from the proverbial frying pan into the fire.
And while there is much discussion currently about how men can step up to intervene and make the tolerated intolerable, women have to learn to self-advocate in a class action to be clear that things have to change. If we rely on any one to "protect" us then we are still leaving ourselves exposed and vulnerable. Men should not be condemning this because they are husbands and fathers but because they are men and it is not right.
Gender imbalance reflects an unequal distribution of power between men and women which is embedded in our wider and corporate cultures. Can you imagine if the situation was reversed?
It's about time we start dealing with it as soon as possible.
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Dates for the Diary
APRIL 2nd 2020 #SAFEDISTANCE ONLINE POWER COACHING WITH ANNABEL KAYE
Join Dorothy Dalton and Annabel Kaye for a FREE online session to support anyone who has workplace concerns and needs career support during the COVID-19 crisis.
WHEN Thursday April 2nd 0800 EDT 1400 GMT 1500 CET
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Being distant doesn't mean feeling isolated or insecure.
20th APRIL 2020 - LEARNING TO MANAGE UNCONSCIOUS BIAS
Corporate Lunch & Learn Event - Amadeus, Dubai, U.A.E.
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