Almost 30, Single, Childless and Fantastic
Childless and fantastic - just a myth or a happy reality?
I thought that my life without responsibilities would be over by the age of 30, but as it turns out I am childless and fantastic. The fun doesn't have to end just because other people are settling down.
I tried to squeeze in a lifetime’s worth of adventure by living at hyperspeed. This was only so I’d be “ready” for marriage and motherhood by about the big 3-0. I felt that I should already have lived a full life. By this time I should be ready to assume a best supporting actress role in the lives of my husband and children. As it turns out, I still have a lot of other dreams with just a few weeks to go before celebrating three decades.
The idea of sacrificing my body, career, and lifestyle for my children doesn’t thrill me with joy and anticipation. Although I think society should do much more to support parents, and I want to pay forward all the love that my parents gave me, it’s not necessarily for my own children. Being a dad looks like fun though. Especially as it turns out you also get paid more and get promoted at work! As far as eternal love and commitment goes, I do rather like men. It's just that I haven’t really fancied any particular bloke all that much yet. So far romantic interests are mostly seasonal heroes or villains. They get to bring lessons while I get to remain the main character of the hopefully Oscar-winning series that is my life.
I know this all might make me sound like selfish Cersei, the evil queen in the Game of Thrones books (she wasn’t such a mothering type). However I fancy myself more as a Daenerys Targaryen. Nothing but a Khal Drogo (minus the forced marriage) will do. And while I am not likely to become a Mother of Dragons, I hope to be the creator of beautiful photographs, profound intellectual think-pieces, and scores of exciting stories. As far as “settling down” goes, I would like to own my own apartment. I want it to have enough space to invite people over and host out of town guests. But it should be in an artsy post-industrial neighborhood close to the city, rather than a leafy family-friendly place deep in the suburbs. I’m excited to participate in civic life and be part of a community long-term.
As more people realise how much the world has to offer, it can be hard to attract the top talent. Our FREE ebook can help you with 12 Steps to Attract, Recruit and Retain Female Talent.
The one wife and mother I do kind of envy had her kids after 35. She is a successful entrepreneur, runs a non-profit, has a pretty cool husband, and still hangs out with friends. Even with children under 5, she doesn’t seem too much like a “mom”. She even has hobbies! It seems like this could be because she has not been responsible for any other lives for a fair chunk of her life. She never aimed specifically to get married and have kids, she just tried to live her life.
Breaker of chains
As for the rest of the mothers I know, I feel happy that they got what they wanted. They seem to enjoy it. But I feel the same lack of envy most of them seem to feel when I go travel on my own for weeks at a time in countries that are not heavily marketed as paradise for solo women (India, Egypt., Morocco...). Personally, it took me a long while to let myself enjoy my life without FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Even though I was living the life I wanted, I felt I was missing out on the roles of wife and mother.
My likelihood of becoming a monarch or hatching dragon eggs is quite low. But I do hope I can share one title with Daenerys: Breaker of Chains. I met a nineteen-year-old girl recently while travelling. She asked me if I was lonely and if I wanted to have children. I didn’t have a simple answer for her. But I shared some of the highs and lows of my adventures up to now. I told her that I am far from alone or unhappy, even if I am not in a relationship and don’t have children. I am childless and fantastic. It was amazing to see the look in her eyes when she realized there are more paths to happiness than she imagined. I felt like a living legend.
Do you know what you want from your job? Do you know how to get to where you want to be with your career? 3Plus can help you with our complimentary 30 minute Skype call to assess your needs. Contact us here.
Found that interesting?
Learn more about our services
Make your dreams a reality with a professional evaluation of your career to date.
The evidence is in. More women in your company can deliver 35% greater financial returns. (Catalyst)
Dates for the Diary
November 12th European Commission DG GROW
Informal talk on how to deal with sexism - 12.30 - 1400
November 25th Council of the European Union - Corporate Event
How to deal with sexism and harassment in the workplace
Download and listen free podcasts
How to Create an Effective USP What is a USP? Our Unique Selling Point or UVP (Unique Value Proposition) is our key core message about where...read more
How to Rethink the Modern Workplace for Gender Equality New research shows that diversity and inclusion is a top priority for leaders. So why...read more
Menopause in the workplace In this podcast with Nicki Williams award winning author, keynote speaker and Founder of Happy Hormones for Life,...read more
How to Cultivate Empathy in the Workplace Nancy Milton, international business communications expert, keynote speaker and author, share some vital...read more
Taking Care of your COW Tanvi Guatam, international Personal Branding expert says there is a misconception out there that a personal brand is...read more
The importance of Hard Talk Dawn Metcalfe, author of Managing the Matrix and Hard Talk, shares with us tips to achieve the lasting communication...read more
When Does Female Rivalry Turn into Sabotage There’s a lot of stuff written on social media about female rivalry and competition between women. Some...read more
Goal setting tips to boost your career The happiest people are those that really love their jobs. Those that don’t, dread Sunday nights and...read more
Sexism: How to stage a Bystander Intervention in the Workplace In this power coaching podcast, we're going to tackle one of the questions...read more
How to Get Noticed by Head Hunters & Recruiters In this power coaching podcast, we're going to tackle one of the questions asked multiple...read more
We use it casually every day, but now we need to work out the best social media etiquette for professional use. Remember, your whole reputation could be gone with just one click.read more
Many companies are hoping to attract more female candidates to their top positions, so why do they continue to create male-coded job adverts?read more
We need to start looking more seriously into why women aren’t getting promoted. They start with the same education as men, so what changes?read more