Overcome Negative Self Talk
Use these five steps to overcome negative self-talk
To overcome negative self-talk, we need to break out of the low self-esteem cycle that keeps us trapped instead of reaching our full potential.
Low self-esteem and negative self-talk are part of the same continuous loop. Feeling bad about yourself or your achievements can lead to low self-esteem, which causes you to think negatively. Negative thinking fuels low self-esteem and so the vicious cycle continues. On the plus side, just a few small adjustments to create some good habits can help you to overcome that negative self-talk tape This is the voice inside your head that impacts how you think about and talk to yourself.
Janie is a Communications Manager who feels uncomfortable speaking in public. When she was younger, she was very shy and the kids in school made fun of her in “show and tell." Today, she still hears those children from first grade mocking her and considers herself to be a "loser." She needs to reframe that negative thought tape into a positive message. "I know it is holding my career back," she told 3Plus. "Whoever heard of a Communications Manager who is nervous about communicating?"
When you overcome negative self-talk, the way you think about yourself will improve and so will your self-esteem. Your self-confidence will skyrocket and your whole outlook on potential opportunities and life in general will be different.
5 steps to overcome negative self-talk
When you want to break out of the cycle of negativity, make these small habits part of your daily life:
1. Reframe your thoughts
Your thoughts kick starts with your actions. If you think that you’re destined to be unemployed or a poor public speaker, until you switch that mindset the chances are that will be the case.
To make key changes in your thoughts, you have to change your personal script. Get out of victim mode and learned helplessness. Reframe that negative thought into a positive one, preferably accompanied by an action point.
2. Be in charge of YOU
You are the only person who can control what you do and think. No one can “make you” feel, think or do anything. That language is for the playground. If you take charge of yourself, you can take steps to change your mental soundtrack. The sound might be there, but you can lower the volume and eventually you will be able to ignore it. Block out the negative white noise and use that energy to re-focus your inner message and concentrate on new and better outcomes.
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3. Manage your garbage
GIGO stands for garbage in, garbage out. Unless you overcome negative self-talk you will trap yourself into inactivity or poor judgements. Perhaps you will pull back from something that you are scared of. It might be presenting to a group of applying for a job. If you say I can’t do that, then you won’t. You could miss career opportunities because you are less visible. Or you can apply for lower-level jobs and not reach your potential. If you want to change your output, you have to manage your input.
4. Create positive affirmations
What you think becomes who you are. If you are Janie who doesn’t do public speaking – that will be what you are known for. It will become your truth. You can choose to make today the day you redirect your destiny. Writing your affirmation down will help you design the life you want for yourself and the person you want to be.
Make today the day you choose to take the first steps to becoming a good, or at least competent, public speaker or job seeker. When you speak these thoughts out loud, and especially write them down, you will start to think differently and approach your life with renewed commitment and energy.
5. Make an action plan
When you have reframed the negative thought, create an action plan to tag alongside it. It could be doing something pro-active to reach your goal, or even be about seeking advice from friends, a mentor or a coach. Commit to taking practical steps to turn your positive thoughts into actions.
We all need to overcome negative self-talk at some point in our lives. It might be around everyday issues about health and relationships, or around more complex situations. The important thing is not to run yourself down. Replace your negative thoughts with a mindset that will move you forward to success and the place you want to be.
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