Archive for 'Dear Dorothy'

Stop apologising when you don’t need to!

Hi Dorothy  I have recently started a new job but am not sure how I’m doing and wonder if the man who hired me might even be regretting his decision. I have been corrected on a few things but the messages have been vague and although I have apologized, I’m worried that after my probationary period ends in 3 months, my contract may not be confirmed. I gave up a really good job and relocated internationally to accept this position.   Juliette, South Africa

Hi Juliette – thanks for your letter. Lots of things going on! Onboarding is normal after a new hire and everyone will want you to succeed, especially after the cost of an international relocation.

Here are some tips

Ask for feedback:  No one gets everything right in a new job to begin with. If you have any doubts about what you need to do to guarantee your own success – ask for feedback! Suggest to your hiring manager that you are enjoying the opportunity and would like to ensure that the transition is as smooth as possible and ask what you can you do to make that happen.

Request a mentor :  Request a mentor who can guide you through the cultural intangibles of starting in a new position, to make those things tangible and clear to a newcomer. You can’t be expected to second-guess all the intricacies and subtext of a new company in a different country without support!

Stop apologizing:  It is the responsibility of the hiring manager to make sure your job description and any targets are clear. If that hasn’t happened - you take ownership of that task. Also ask yourself if you are being overly sensitive and worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet! I am told that it’s women’s sensitivity that many male managers find annoying!

Create a paper trail :  The usual reason for onboarding processes to become unstuck is poor cultural fit. If in the unlikely situation of a worst case scenario of your contract not being confirmed, you have a paper trail showing you did your best to integrate into your new position which might be helpul in the future. Store that in a non-work related email account.

Hope this helps!

4 basic networking strategies for working Mums!

Hi Dorothy – I’m very aware that I should be networking more but just don’t seem to have the time. I have 2 small children and many events are held after work when I need to get home to relieve my babysitter.  What other suggestions could you come up with? Aurelie, Amsterdam

Hi Aurelie – Thanks for your question. I remember those days well! It isn’t easy to carve out space for yourself with small children. Here are some basic tips to at least get you on your way:

• Create a strategy – assess your network and decide where/how it needs strengthening. The reluctance of women to network strategically does put them at a significant disadvantage but it’s probably not necessary to attend all events. Identify which events are key for you – 4 per year should be more than sufficient and be strategic when you do go, rather than just chatting and having a drink. You didn’t mention a partner or a father of your children. Is there no possibility that he could step in at these times to cover for you? Don’t forget to make time for you!
• Create an online network - All women should create one or more on-line, comprehensive, professional profiles. LinkedIn is a primary platform for professionals. These online connections can be converted into real connections over time. Engaging online is also something that can be fitted in with other responsibilities, so is a perfect instrument for women and is entirely self-scheduling (when the kids are in bed perhaps). Women are more active than men in social media, but we need to tap into our network for business purposes rather than simply chatting on Facebook.
• Reach out – Start gently – invite one new person to lunch every quarter, connect with colleagues in other parts of your company, meet suppliers or other sector and professional contacts. These are all things that can be done during the working day, at lunchtime or even before work. Staying in touch by email or phone can be just as effective to make sure that you are still on everyone’s radar. Skype calls also make a difference when you can see the person you are talking to.  If you commute by car, can you make your calls then? Networking should be ongoing and many people make the critical mistake of only doing this when they need help, which is generally not appreciated.
• Become or find a mentor: Women of any age and position in their professional life, even entry-level can find a mentoring relationship useful. This is a great way to expand your network too.

Hope this helps !

How much time should I spend looking for a job?

Hi Dorothy – I was made redundant in November from a senior sales position and seem to spend all day, every day looking for another one and getting nowhere. My partner is suggesting that I’m not doing enough – how much time should I spend on this? Jeanette, Philadelphia

Hi Jeanette – regretfully this is like asking that old chestnut ”how long is a piece of string”? There is no right or wrong answer and for everyone the response will be different. You have to look at your results. Very often it’s not a question of more time, but using the time you have differently or more strategically. At a senior level there are simply fewer openings but my observation over many years is that job seekers generally think they are more focused than they actually are. This might be because of mild depression or simply because of internet or other distractions. Facebook and Twitter are prime time-eaters.

Here are some simple strategies for time management for job seekers:

• Create a disturbance-free, job-seeking space! Set up some structure with email folders, Excel spreadsheets and anything else that creates order in the mass of paperwork and emails. Monitor the time you are actively “on the job”. Be honest! Because this is your job now.
• Focus early in the morning. Break the back of your workload early in the day. Some find it helpful to dress as if they are going into the office. Sleeping in late and working in your PJ’s might seem casual and fun in the early stages after years of suiting and booting, but can lead to a downward demotivated spiral.
• Outline a strategy and set some short and medium-term goals.
• Make prioritized and achievable to-do lists, setting daily and weekly goals. You will be less easily distracted when you do this. Reward yourself with some downtime only when you’ve reached your targets. This can be getting leads or referrals, sending off a customized resume, researching 5 companies per day, connecting with 10 new people on LinkedIn, posting comments in groups or contacting your alumni connections or forging new ones. Whatever is in line with your goals.
• Research shows that networking in job search is highly effective. Make sure you are out there meeting people, not just tapping into your online connections stuck (hiding?) behind a computer. Sales people generally have great networks. What’s going on with your old competitors and customers? Can they help, give recommendations or refer you?
• Set aside time for dealing with personal emails and social activities. 15 minutes every 2 hours – enjoy those minutes, you’ve earned them – now return to work!
• Look after your health and relationships. Exercise, eat healthily and appreciate those around you. You need their support!

If you find this demotivation persists or you are not getting the results you are hoping for – definitely seek professional help or find a job search buddy. It can take up to 9 months to find a new job in today’s economic climate and everyone needs support to stay upbeat.

 

Good luck!

 

 

The complexity of corporate cultural fit

Hi Dorothy – I have recently been turned down for a senior global business development position where I was one of the final 2 candidates who went through a rigorous process, including testing and pursuit of references. I asked for feedback from the headhunter who told me that it was about minimal skill set differences between candidates which finally counted, but she also referenced a better cultural fit. The position involved international relocation so there was a discussion about possible family repatriation, including the requirement of school fees in the package. I have been divorced 3 times, but had children with my third husband. He is a headmaster, so the kids are with him Monday to Friday, because they attend his school. Although nothing was said, I just sensed when we were discussing this part of the process with the VP HR (female), a certain coolness setting in and change in attitude and that I was discriminated against because of my personal circumstances. My sector is not huge and I found out afterwards that even though I have more experience, the successful candidate was male, married, with a family. This would never happen to a man . Angelina

Hi Angelina – thanks for your mail. This is indeed complex.

Corporate culture and cultural fit is hard to define and varies from one organisation to another. It involves clearly stated organisational values, very often found in their web site mission statements. But perhaps more significantly, it  also touches upon an infinite number of intangibles and unwritten value codes which are hard to pin point and decipher.  Hiring managers are human beings with a range of personal opinions and values, which even subconsciously impact the hiring process. One person’s confident is another’s arrogant. Leadership, decision- making and communication styles, as well conflict resolution skills all come under the microscope. Age demographics play a role as do religious and cultural perceptions. Sometimes these can be superficially ascertained by researching the senior management and whoever is involved in the hiring process. What do people say about them in your network which you mention is not huge? Do they leave any clues via professional online profiles or other social media or in the press?  Why did you think the fit would be good?

On one point I would tend to agree is that men whose ex wives have custody of their children Monday-Friday would not generally be perceived in a negative way. In fact this might even be seen as an asset. I have also been involved in expatriate transfers where accommodation for child visits in the school vacations has been factored in because of budgetary impact (flights, larger housing etc) either for a single man transferring, or with a new family.  It is also very common for children to go to boarding schools in their passport country to avoid disruption to their academic progress.

Whether discrimination happened in your case as a mother who was willing to relocate, it’s impossible to say. If your sector is quite small, your personal circumstances might be public knowledge,  or perhaps you declared them openly as you did to me. The fact you weren’t cut earlier in what seems to have been a thorough and therefore expensive process, would suggest they may not have been critical factors.  I have known male candidates with multiple divorces rejected because of the personal values of the hiring managers.   They were family run and owned business

Expatriate
Expatriate appointments are never straightforward. Some companies prefer to re-locate single people because of cost and also because the success of the transfer might hinge on the partner and children relocating successfully. This is especially true where high levels of employee travel are involved, leaving the family isolated in a new country. Others favour family units which they perceive rightly or wrongly, to provide an anchor for the transition.

Testing
If you haven’t already received it, most companies will give more detailed de-briefing from any testing procedures carried out. This might provide some useful insights as to what type of organisation you should be targeting your next application. It might also be a useful investment to go through a testing process yourself (MBTI for example) that may also provide some answers for the future.

I would focus more on not on what didn’t work in this particular instance – but what strategy do I need to move forward to be successful next time.

Good luck!

Recovered from a breakdown: Declare or not in job search?

Dear Dorothy - I saw a tweet that went out from 3Plus and also from you about Katrina Alcorn and how she took time off work because she had suffered a breakdown. She was very open about it.  Her story resonated with me because I have been in a similar situation and don’t know how to deal with presenting this in terms of my future career now I am recovered. Should I do the same, or should I follow the standard process and reposition this difficult period of my life in a more positive light.  Where do your thoughts lie?  Mary Lynne, New Jersey

 

Hi Mary Lynne  – thanks for your question.  I’m sorry you had a difficult time.  This is indeed a challenging question. I remember absolutely the blog and my thoughts when I re-tweeted. But remember, because I RT’d it,  or it came from the 3Plus account,  it doesn’t necessarily mean I, or we, endorse every word – just that it’s a point of view worth considering.

As with many situations that occur in career transition – it depends.  I’m based in Europe where as Katrina points out parental leave conditions tend to be more generous than in the US, related to the  conditions of the country in which the woman lives. Sick pay schemes I would say, are the norm rather than the exception,  unlike many other regions.

Katrina took a bold step in taking her issues public.  I don’t know the detail of her motivation. In doing so,  she perhaps took measured decisions regarding her long term professional and personal  goals, as well as her life values. Or maybe it was part of an unconscious therapeutic process to help her move forward. Her stance also became a campaign for better conditions for working mothers.

Katrina also points out the need to be authentic which is important,  because  there will still be a gap in your resumé that needs explaining.  If you try to cover up too deeply, then a seasoned interviewer will know something is amiss.

Future stability

The hiring process is expensive and time consuming.  Organisations want an indication of future stability from new hires. That is understandable and normal.  Only you can tell when the right time is to declare or re-position a health issue if you are choosing to return to corporate life.  There is nothing wrong in telling someone that you made a decision to spend time at home with your child or take a career break. That is becoming increasingly common.   What you have to exhibit that that you can be relied on in the future.  Any information about medication and pre-existing  conditions will be requested in a medical examination if one is required.  The  type of medication, dosage and length of time you took it, will indicate to any good doctor the severity of your condition and its implications.  I would definitely not lie or camouflage.

However a breakdown or any type of mental illness is a red flag that something in our lives is out of alignment. So before  considering a return to corporate life some deep refection is vital.  If the trigger was work related -  perhaps it is simply not for you. Sometimes the triggers are external factors, stresses such as divorce, a bereavement and accident or other issues which might suggest a different outcome.

In general, I am super cautious about sharing deeply personal experiences on the internet. It works for some as part of a moving forward process, but once posted, any detail is there forever,  so an action which should be considered carefully. If you want to campaign for a cause or use a public forum for catharsis, that’s fine. If not,  in 10 years time you may not want the minutiae of an experience you have put behind you lingering in cyberspace.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Designer jeans and interviews

Hi Dorothy  – I was rejected following an interview last week because I wore jeans. They were really expensive Armani jeans and probably cost more than all their creased shiney suits put together.  Why isn’t it OK to wear jeans to an interview?  Martha, Prague  

Hi Martha  – thanks for your question. It’s asked all the time.

Well your favourite denims might carry a 3 digit price tag and be the height of chic on the street, but you can’t even wear them to get into many night clubs or restaurants. Together with their favourite companions, the sneaker, they are not considered to be formal attire. So if nightclubs won’t let them in (and therefore leaving you on the pavement too!) it’s safe to assume that many businesses won’t either, regardless of the designer label or cost. The pavement parallel can be applied to job search.

So, no it isn’t OK, if you want to dress to impress! Psychologically, despite the massive upward shift in price and the fashion statements they make, they are still for many associated with blue collar work and are not de rigueur.

If you are interviewing for a jeans’ manufacturer that make a difference,  but even then I suspect they may not be acceptable at this stage in the job search process, designer or otherwise.

But, I did come across one You Tube recruiting video which suggested jeans might indeed be sector appropriate and Armani could actually be a tad over dressed. View At Twitter the Future is You!

You didn’t say what level of position you were seeking, but I would advise waiting until you have a job, then establish at that point if it’s OK to wear your favorite denims. Even on dress-down days in many companies, they are off limits.

This is the way to avoid hitting the pavement!

Multiple transitions: Have you ever felt like a career hand grenade?

Hi Cressida- I’m really sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time. But at least you have retained your sense of humour which will prove invaluable!

Support
I’m sure you are seeking legal advice to try and protect yourself and your children financially and also to negotiate some stability, with all the major transitions you are going through simultaneously. I suppose you will also be discussing custody and childcare arrangements, the latter being important if you intend to return to work full time. It might also be helpful to seek emotional support, either with a professional, or within your friendship group. As we are always reminded during in-flight emergency procedures on aeroplanes, take care of yourself first. If you are not safe, you cannot be there for your children.

Complex and common
Your situation is complex, but not that uncommon. 50% of marriages end in divorce and employers are looking for assurances from both men and women,  that they are in control.  Sadly the responsibility for childcare issues still tends to be associated mainly with women, although with joint custody arrangements I observe that this is now changing.  So, many women do experience multiple transitions and quite often at the same time. A career hand grenade you are not!

In terms of your professional situation you clearly worked at a senior level,  but much has happened in 9 years, so there is a need to make rapid progress. My suggestions would be as follows,  based on the assumption that you want to return to the same type of activity:

• Get up to date in your profession  – contact old colleagues and professional bodies to establish what changes have been going on in your field in your absence. Do you need to go on a refresher course or will general reading be sufficient? You may find that the most significant developments have been in the areas of technology and software.
• Re-connect with your professional networks. Subscriptions,  workshops and conferences can be pricey on a tight budget,  but there is still a lot of material  available on-line and social media networking is free.
• Network with old colleagues and bosses. They will give you the heads up on any opportunities. Can they refer you?
• Create an online presence  – I took the liberty of researching you and you do not have a LinkedIn profile. This should be a priority. Extend your network.  Join groups related to HR and Compensation and Benefits  – there are many.
• Consider working from home: can you set yourself up from home,  working on an adhoc basis to ease yourself gently back into a business environment?
• Consider setting up your own business:  I know many women who have set up their own businesses successfully in response to issues in their personal lives.  If they can do it -  so can you!
• Re – train  -  is this a good opportunity to think about doing something different? What are your passions? What would you like to do with the rest of your life?  Do you want to stay in C & B?  What are your skills? On- line courses make it easier to combine acquiring new skills with childcare and domestic responsibilities.
• Check your business image: if your wardrobe is full of office attire circa pre-motherhood -  a trip to the charity shop is essential. Nothing dates you more than looking out dated. Think of this as a business investment.

I hope this will help in some way and wish you every success. Once again seeking professional input maybe an advantage if you don’t make the progress you hoped for.

How many LinkedIn connections do I need?

 

Hello Samantha   – thanks for your question. In those few lines there are actually a number of topics which can be covered which are important for professional women, so briefly:

• The need for  professional visibility.  Workplaces are becoming increasingly insecure and organisations no longer invest in the management of employees’ careers to the same degree as previously, because of cost. There is now a trend towards what Tom Peters called in 1997  “A Brand Called You” where we have to make ourselves visible  (a.k.a. Personal Branding) in the workplace, as our safety net for difficult times. This involves having an extended and effective network
• The differences in the way women and men network. Women tend to network with people they know and are more reluctant than men to network transactionally.  However, this ability to work strategically is regarded as a key political skill to professional success (Ferris & Perrewé) – so it is something we women have to become more adept at and willing to become involved in. Men are very good at tapping into and supporting each other within their networks and this is one business practise which we could be encouraged to emulate! Our reluctance to network transactionally can be disadvantageous.
•  A shift in the type of networking we can now do.   Today, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the person on LinkedIn well  – but they might have someone in their network who could be useful to you. This is why an extended reach is important. It is also about developing mutually beneficial relationships for the future.
• Is there an ideal number of connections? The answer is no – the most important thing is to network strategically. You might have 50 first level connections, but they might be key players in your sector. In general however, on LinkedIn there is strength in a weak network,  people’s second level connections might be helpful, so I would encourage you to extend your reach as far as you can even if this means moving out of your comfort zone. This is especially true if you are a job seeker.

The bottom line is that in these uncertain economic times none of us know when we will need to tap into our networks, both actual and virtual.

Career Clinic – Cover letter tip

Hi Maria – Thanks for your question which is actually one that crops up frequently. And no  -it’s not silly at all!

One of my observations about job search strategies over recent years is that there are no long term hard and fast rules and procedures any more. Cover letters is one area where protocols seem to have become blurred and many just like you are confused.

The answer with so many situations in job search, is that it depends.

Many large organisations use sophisticated applicant tracking systems (ATS) where cover letters for online applications are peeled away by software programmes. Some hard pressed HR Managers also don’t include cover letters when they forward your CV to the line manager. However, if you know the hiring or HR manager, not to include a short note will seem rude. In some cases it can be advantageous,  especially if you are writing your cover letter in a different language to your resume, it can serve to showcase your language skills.

So what is a candidate to do?

I would always err on the side of caution. It maybe helpful – it may never see the light of day. What I would suggest is never put anything in a cover letter that isn’t in the main body of your CV, just in case. It’s a garnish. One that may accentuate the main dish, but should never be a substitute for it.

Hope this helps.

.

Career Clinic: Interview tip – bare legs or not?

Hi Suzie   – the positive takeaways from this experience is that you asked for feedback. But yes, some companies are conservative,  even if the dress code for the office is smart casual, which can allow bare legs. The people working there already have jobs.  I always suggest that candidates dress appropriately for the sector they wish to interview for. Each profession also has it’s own uniform and judgements are made on appearances.

However, unless you’re applying to be a life guard or another occupation where the dress code expectations would be different,  always dress formally for interviews, which will includes tights or stockings.  Even then, unless you are interviewing at the side of a pool or on the beach, in any office situation full business attire would always be advisable.  You can always take them off when you leave the building. Recently one candidate I know, was advised not to come for a second interview wearing red (co-ordinating, expensive) ballet pumps. For some reason they would not have gone down well with the senior management and she was given the heads up and went on to get the position. There are also cultural differences, age and even religious factors which might come into play and you may not even be aware of those until you get to the interview. So caution is advisable.

My own feeling is that you might have to consider that there were other factors involved, but the interviewer chose not to disclose them.  But can a factor as small as this play a key part? Yes, regrettably it can.

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