Archive for 'Personal & Professional Development'

The 6 Distinctions of Highly Successful Women

Over the past decade I have had the privilege of working with thousands of women all over the world in seminars, workshops and through coaching.  I noticed common themes coming though and in 2003 we ran our first survey called, Women Leaders Speak Out.

This level of exposure to highly successful women meant that we were able to identify certain competencies that successful women share, and it was through these observations that we were able to create benchmarks.

For the benchmarks we identified 5 common leadership themes as follows:

• Leading Performance
• Leading Change
• Leading People
• Building Relationships
• Developing Self

It is the latter category that I want to discuss in detail as it is the most under-developed skill and yet, in my view, the most critical.

The most successful women that I have coached have all been highly-skilled in each of the following areas of distinction.

Distinction 1:  The ability to remain open to feedback and learning

The pace of life has increased. Clients are under increasing pressure and we are all paddling away trying to keep up with work pressures and the demands of family life.

Because of this we are giving our own personal development less attention and this, in turn, impacts our effectiveness and becomes a crazy loop where we lurch from stress to exhaustion.

It is vital to take the time out to reflect. How many times have you had feedback where you have chosen to take offence rather than learn? Growth isn’t possible when you have a closed mind and there is nothing to learn in taking fixed positions. It is the most adaptable people who succeed and the only difference between the adaptable person and the stubborn person is the willingness to learn and remain inquisitive.

Here is a quick and helpful strategy for staying open to feedback and learning:

• Listen to what the person is saying
• Reflect on their motive (love, anger, jealousy, stress)
• Be honest with yourself… is there a nugget of truth? (look for the Gold)
• Apply the learning or dismiss if the person was talking from anger or jealousy and there is genuinely no truth in the feedback

Distinction 2:  The ability to ask why and what for

Whatever your goals are, at one time or another, you will hit the wall. In other words you will come across a major challenge that looks like a deal breaker.

What do you normally do when you hit a wall? Most of us simply give up and do something else instead. But what makes some people find a way over the wall, under the wall or around the wall? People who succeed generally do so because those people know why they are doing something.

Consider this:

Scenario 1: I am working in a large corporation and its OK because it pays my bills. It’s not my dream job but it’s better than most I guess. I work to live. My real life is outside of work.

Scenario 2: I have a dream to take a sabbatical and sail around the world and my partner shares this dream. We are currently on track to start making concrete plans in 2012. I love getting out of bed every morning and doing my absolute best at work because I know every day is taking me one step closer to my dream.

Which person do you believe will make the effort to get over the wall somehow? What is your mission? Why are you going to work every day? Why do you do what you do every day?

Take the time for critical thinking so that when you hit the challenges you know that you are making the extra effort to achieve a personal goal or for the love of family or friends.

Distinction 3:  The ability to see the future and remain on track

Only 5 % of women set goals. Why? The reasons are usually because we prefer to be in flow, to trust our intuition or we simply don’t think about doing it.

I have developed a system specifically for women called SAW (Strengths and Weaknesses analysis) What most people do in goal setting is look for what they can do and not what they can’t do. I turned this on its head because it didn’t work for me. For instance, I wanted to be a speaker but I was scared of speaking in public. If I hadn’t used my own system I would have discounted speaking as a career choice because I lacked the skills. However, armed with the knowledge that I had a skills-gap I was able to set a goal to get training which led to a career that has, so far, lasted a decade!

Meanwhile, write down some lofty goals or dreams, chunk them down into manageable pieces, and each chunk into tasks. Put the tasks in your planner and take small steps every day.

Distinction 4:  The ability to use right brain as well as left brain processes

We are all focused on left brain process and rightly so. Most our work is of an analytical and intellectual nature.

However, it always amazes me how little we use our creative and, some would argue, the most powerful part of our brains in our daily interactions and in our work. As Einstein said, “imagination is more important than knowledge”.

Your right brain will empower you to utilize the tools of mind-mapping and speed-reading. If you haven’t yet heard about or don’t yet use these skills then please do look up a good training provider and go and learn!

Successful people value their time and use it wisely. It doesn’t make sense to use lots of time to take notes and it certainly doesn’t make sense, in this day of information overload, to read the long way!

Distinction 5:  The ability to be flexible and adapt quickly to change

Distinction number one was about remaining ‘open to feedback and learning’ and I know that the only thing that stops people from learning and growing is fear. Fear will keep people in their comfort zones and stop them from adapting to change.

Those of us who are most resistant to change and least flexible are less likely to build mutually beneficial relationships, least likely to see the opportunity and least likely to take the opportunity when it is offered – and it is usually fear that keeps us in our place.

Earlier in this article I mentioned that I had attended a speakers’ training course. What I didn’t share is that I was so afraid of speaking that I couldn’t even say my name in front of a group of people. One of the things I believe in is ‘learn from the best’ and so I attended a professional speaker’s bootcamp in Colorado, USA. I went through a lot of embarrassment and a lot of fear in those 5 days but I knew ‘why’ (Distinction 2 ) and I had a timeline and a goal (Distinction 3 ). I had used right brain processes to create my vision and my goals (Distinction 4) and I was calming my nerves using inner resources (Distinction 6).

Distinction:  6 The ability to rely on inner resources to respond with precision

This might be the most critical distinction of all. So many people seem to be resorting to unproductive behavior because of stress. People tell me that they don’t have time for the gym or to use relaxation techniques. Then because their bodies are running on acid they crave junk food and alcohol to – supposedly – help them relax.

One of the most important things you can do for your success is, take care of yourself first. Make time for exercise, drink at least two litres of water every day, eat healthy food and find some way to relax. The more stress and tiredness you are experiencing, the more out of balance you are.

Sharpen the saw if you want to cut the tree down quickly. You know it makes sense!

Make one change at a time. Make this one change into a habit and then apply another. Repeat until your life is transformed and you have Developed into the Self you want to be!

 

 

What are your successes? Success, U and Jimmy Choos

When was the last time you told someone “I am successful”?  We don’t do we because it’s not quite nice.  OK we shout and applaud the success of our friends and family; sharing what they achieved and have done.  Then it comes to us and err well ….  “pride comes before a fall”, “oh that little thing, well yes I did get a mention, BUT I just happened to be there at the right time and there was no one else…”

Shirley MacLaine in her 1984 acceptance speech for the Oscars said:-

I don’t believe there are such things as accidents. I think that we all manifest what we want and what we need. I don’t think there’s a difference really between what you feel you have to do in your heart, and success — they’re inseparable … God bless that potential that we all have for making anything possible if we think we deserve it. I deserve this. Thank you!

When was the last time you put something down to serendipity and a positive new opportunity came your way which you felt you deserved?  A business contract, a new job, recognition for who you are or what you have achieved, a chance to have a second go at something, an opportunity that turned up because you were the right person to contact?

And did you tell anyone; did you shout it from the roof tops or is your success so far hidden down the page its in the small ads section?

10 day challenge

For the next 10 days, I challenge you to compliment people on their successes and see the reactions.  Grab a friend and ask them to promote “You”.  Update your Linkedin profile, Google +, etc. with things you have achieved.   Stand in your friend’s Jimmy Choos – what would he or she say to you in response to all you have and are achieving?

Might feel strange at first, but get used to the emotion; you ARE successful – go on… celebrate!

 

Self Knowledge: Who is on Your Elite 18 List?

We are in what I call the “need to share” relationship based economy, and it requires sophisticated levels of collaboration, trust, and connectivity. Building these assets takes a commitment to depth, self knowledge and introspection.

Novelist Doug Coupland once said. “before machines the only form of entertainment people really had was relationships.” When we listened to radio or music without any visuals our listening skills were attuned because that was how we got our information. We didn’t need the “focus” muscle that we certainly need for today’s environment. Today we get ongoing reports about multi-tasking, the lack of downtime and the many aspects of daily life competing for our presence. As we learn to adapt to this multi-media environment we are developing survival skills that will help us stay relevant and current. At the same time, I believe there are things we can do by design to ensure we not only survive but thrive.

Self knowledge is essential in our relationship economy. Knowing who you are and what you stand for are vital as the noise and distractions get louder. We must stretch, tone & condition our internal awareness as we would in preparing to run a marathon. Conditioning of any type requires practice & discipline. I cannot help you with the discipline – that comes from internal motivation. I can, however, help you find a means to practice self knowledge.

Jean-Paul Sartre, the existential philosopher, was made famous for his statement “hell is other people!” While I am sure you have had days that fit that phrase, for the most part the only way we know who we are is by how we see ourselves through others.

 

 

Over the years as an executive coach, I have found creating an Elite 18 list to be one of the best self knowledge exercises to help people uncover and articulate what they care about most.

The Elite 18 includes people outside your current peer group who are at your desired “aspirational” level. They can be among those alive now or long ago. They can be from any geography, socio-economic or age group. They can be famous and well-known or among those who have quietly developed a special expertise. These are people you admire or even envy. Envy usually occurs when you are in the presence of someone who is using a gift that you posses but are underutilizing. Envy, therefore, is something to learn from and pay attention to.

Capture an image of these people and next to their names write three reasons why you have added them to your “Elite 18” list. This exercise allows you to see aspects of your self through your “Elite 18” mirror. You see your aspirations, what you hope to achieve in your own lifetime. Now write three reasons you hope to meet that person, what you hope to gain from the encounter. When I look at a person’s “Elite 18” list, I get a sense of what the individual cares about at a deep level. Sometimes aspects of ourselves are so personal that we need ways to create objectivity to get closer to the core. The “Elite 18” allows you to explore why you admire others and invites you to set your own inspirational and aspirational goals.

When you create your “Elite 18” list you can find ways to keep them top of mind. For instance Benjamin Zander is one of my “Elite 18.”  He wrote the book the Art of Possibility, and he is an extraordinary communicator. I added him to my list in 2005. When I prepare for facilitation or public speaking I imagine him in the room. I am nowhere near as competent and gifted as he; however, the thought of his observation and critique always enhances my personal best.

My hope is that your “Elite 18” will get you out of your comfort zone so that you learn to become who you hope to be.

Jennifer Sertl is a thought leader in the emerging field of corporate consciousness – the convergence of neuroscience and existential philosophy to foster inspiration, create strategic advantage and enhanced value. Jennifer is an internationally respected author, keynote speaker and the president and founder of Agility3R an organizational effectiveness company. Jennifer is also a mentor with 3Plus International.

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