Learn to Be a Woman Who Toots Her Own Horn

by Jan 28, 201212 comments

So: women don’t talk about their achievements. They don’t get noticed. Climb the ladder to the C-suite. They have internal barriers of all sorts that cause them not to be a woman who toots her own horn enough. Hmmmm…

Rather ironically – since I play a euphonium in the town band – me too. Or rather that was me too, until I created a strategy that simultaneously leap-frogs over the barriers and acknowledges and works with them.

Why Not?

The two big barriers for most of us seem to be fear and embarrassment. Fear – that we will look like braggarts and be cut down to size by those with whom we live and work. Embarrassment – well, that speaks for itself.

What Would Your Mother Say?

So what do I do?

I brag.

Like my mother does about her children. Like I do about my own daughter. I think about how Mum wants the world to know how her daughter is creating, doing, being, and I tell everyone who needs to know.

I do it with joy, with abandon, with the knowledge that this makes a difference to how I see myself and how others see me. I do it to model the behaviour to other women and, I hope, encourage them to copy it in their own lives. Not gratuitously to stoke our egos, but to achieve balance. Something this world needs badly.

I pay attention to the emotional response I’m getting. I articulate what I am doing, and why. It gets a strong reaction. Often denial and dismissal, sometimes anger, but mainly recognition.

I also brag about the accomplishments of the women in my life. Behind their backs. In front of them. I detail their skills, their talents and their wonderful personality traits. I talk up the successes they have had and the projects and endeavours in which they are engaged.

Talk about embarrassment! Not mine – theirs. But I persevere. They get used to it. And most of them come to like it… They also tend to accept my version of me.

So – be your own mother, be a woman who toots her own horn, climb the ladder and be a difference in the world!


Vicki Alstine aka @BubbleOffCentre works as a freelance editor and can also be found behind the scenes at 3PlusInternational where she researches and tweets terrific articles of interest to professional women.



Vicki Van Alstine Subscriber
Vicki Van Alstine aka @bubbleoffcentre works as a freelance editor and can also be found behind the scenes at 3PlusInternational where she researches and tweets terrific articles of interest to professional women.
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