Online dating: Rhode Island

As you sit on the edge of your seat, waiting and wondering what happens next, I encourage you to relax, have a glass of wine and enjoy as the story continues…

Online Dating: Rhode Island

He was wearing a small knit cap (hiding a bald head perhaps?) and black rimmed glasses. And, I kid you not; behind those glasses were the gentlest, bluest eyes. Have I mentioned that the eyes have it for me? I’m sold on them!! Those blue eyes were smiling and yet looked mischievous. He also had the tiniest bit of facial hair under his bottom lip; strange, yet enticing because he was different and I like different. And while he didn’t exactly meet the “Anita” criteria, I was interested.

In his bio, he wrote: “And don’t bother to send a wink, I don’t respond to those.”

Online Dating: The Wink

He put up a rule and my playful self couldn’t resist pushing the limits and breaking the rule. I sent an email with “Wink” as the subject line. Oh, I know what you’re thinking. I’m that crazy chick who’s living on the edge! When you’re online, you have one chance to make an impression. I took that chance. He was either going to respond or click delete.

And off it went to cyber space, to his inbox. Tap, tap, tap. I sat there, waiting. I knew it had to go to space and back but really? Four days??

It took four days to get a response. Yeesh! I’ll be old and gray by the time we connect if it takes this long to answer a darn email. Yet, once he did respond, I found him to be fun and witty.

I discovered, much to my surprise, that it’s not difficult to communicate online. Just start with a hello and the frenzy begins…or it doesn’t. No awkward moments in a bar, face to face, fumbling for the right words to get away from someone. Hit send, and in a matter of seconds, the message is delivered to the wanted or the unwanted. I use the word, unwanted because I would discover later, that there are some odd-ducks out there online. (Am I odd?…I digress.) Literally, a “No” reply means “don’t bother”. I think I’m going to LIKE this style of dating. I don’t have to get dressed up, no make-up, coffee if I want, sweat pants if I so please, early in the morning, late at night. This is the best.

But reality hit me right in the face when Rhode Island stated the obvious.

Rhode Island: “No time for socializing? Well, you did put yourself on an online dating site so I hope you are going to make a little time, especially since you met me.”

Online Dating: A Date?

I WAS on a dating site, which meant I really had to go on a date. Believe it or not, it hadn’t occurred to me that I’d actually have to meet someone, on a date, face to face. I sort of thought I could just chat with these men online and they’d be content with that, just as I was. All of a sudden I was shaking in my pants. I’d thrown the boomerang and it was coming right back at me. I’m a good runner but there was no way I could outrun this one.

Online Dating: A Date

I’d been oblivious sitting there behind the computer monitor, safe, unseen except for a photo. Wasn’t I just looking for someone to run, bike or swim with? Wasn’t that the goal? How had this turned into a date? I was soon in a state of shock and panic. I wanted to argue this fact with someone, anyone, even Rhode Island but who was I kidding? I actually had to follow through and go out of the confinement of my home. I was nervous as it occurred to me that I’d never been on a date. Does it count that I went on a date when I was seventeen? Let’s see that’s about twenty-three years ago.

As I mentioned, I was reluctant but he wrote, “Anita, no one ever died over meeting for coffee.”

I paused as I read that, feeling a bit like Meg Ryan (as Kathleen Kelly) in You’ve Got Mail, and with a tilt of my head and a smile on my face, I typed, “Ok, coffee, Sunday.”

Yes, reality struck. I had no idea what I was doing.

To read Anita’s Adventures from the very beginning, click on Online Dating Tips – Take Two

Click here to catch up on Anita’s preceding episodes, feel free to share pieces of your dating journey. Let’s fumble through this together.

3Plus, Anita's Adventures
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Anita, is a Registered Nurse, divorced Mom of three, runner, triathlete, and online fitness consultant. In her post marriage recovery journal, she chronicles daunting balancing acts, her leap into the dating world, pole dancing lessons in which she learns to ‘let go’, and the discovery of her Self. Excerpts from her forthcoming book appear in this column.


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