Pearls of Wisdom For Divorced Professional Women

by May 15, 20143Plus, 3Plus online e-Gazine for professional women, Anita's Adventures

peals of wisdomEnvision a billboard that reads: Pearls of Wisdom for Divorced Professional Women. I can help you be divorced, I think.

Would you be drawn in?

Well, I mean to say, I think I know a bit about being divorced after 6 years of steering the ship. I’ve come up with some pearls of wisdom for those who are new to the journey.

Take them as you may…

1. FIGURE OUT WHAT WENT WRONG ~

Marriage, as well as the break-up of a marriage, takes two. Take the time to figure out what went wrong even though you think you may have been wronged, I assure you, in most cases it took two to have the relationship crumble. Take time to do some soul searching, read, meditate and if need be, seek counseling. Read books on self-development, divorce, separation, raising children through a divorce, etc. There’s plenty of material out there to guide you on this journey, listing a few would be a disservice to the many books available out there, so I’ll refrain from offering titles. In doing this, you’ll know what you want in your next relationship and you’ll know what you can and will do differently.

2. LEARN HOW TO BE ALONE ~

Being alone can be lonely. Sound silly? Well, it’s not meant to be. There’s being alone, such as when you’re children go to school and the house is quiet, or as they get older, the quiet nights you’ll spend inside. And then there’s being uncomfortable and a pathetic feeling overcomes you and loneliness settles into your heart. Get comfortable with the quiet, with the downtime. Get comfortable with YOU.

3. FIND HAPPINESS ~

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, happiness comes from within. No one can give you happiness, it’s not their job. When you were in a relationship, you found each other because you were drawn to one another for some reason. Only you two know what that reason is. Regardless, the first person you must love is yourself. That’s the true path to happiness. Once you’re happy, everything else in life will fall into place. Love will enter, opportunities will arise, and fear will take a back seat.

4. EXPLORE THE WORLD OUTSIDE YOUR HOME ~

Here’s where I need your undivided attention, ready? Your Romeo, or your Juliet, isn’t going to come knocking at your door. How is anyone going to know you’re available if you remain inside? I speak from experience, read on. Recently, I went to a psychic and asked him, “Who is he? Who is the man I’m going to marry? Where, when, how will I meet him?” I needed to know immediately. He could sense my urgency.  His response was, “I don’t know!! All I can tell you is you’re not going to meet anyone if you don’t get out. Someone your age shouldn’t be sitting around the house in your slippers.” My jaw dropped. How did he know? Oh, yes, he’s a psychic, that’s how.

5. BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF ~

I’ve been told by men and gay women that there’s nothing sexier than a woman who’s confident.  Be certain, be a gentle giant (strong yet vulnerable) and be comfortable in your own skin. All these things will radiate from within and draw the right people into your life. Accept the fact that you don’t know everything and that not all people want to be fixed. Be accepting and non-judgmental.

In closing, (how corny but I couldn’t resist)…

I bestow upon you the final nugget of advice: Be open minded and open your heart. Open, open, open…

To read more of Anita’s Adventures, click here

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Anita, is a Registered Nurse, divorced Mom of three, runner, triathlete, and online fitness consultant. In her post marriage recovery journal, she chronicles daunting balancing acts, her leap into the dating world, pole dancing lessons in which she learns to ‘let go’, and the discovery of her Self. Excerpts from her forthcoming book appear in this column.

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