I’m an extrovert – give me a break!
One extrovert asks for understanding too!
There is a massive movement to include, talk about and empower introverts. I’m OK with that. I’m an inclusive kind of person. But it seems to be reaching a point where extroverts are getting left behind and we don’t like that! We have been left out of the “huggy” understanding campaign.
Extroverts do care
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” Mark Twain
I know we have a tendency to bounce into rooms and share our ideas and enthusiasm. But just as we are constantly being asked to respect your need for space and calm, we ask that you show some appreciation for our energy. You think your ideas, we talk about, through and around ours. We like to involve people and get things started. I agree that sometimes it’s a lot of hot air, but sometimes there are kernels of inspiration. Give us credit for that!
Extroverts can feel insecure
“The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.” Erich Fromm
That quote by Erick Fromm says it all! Just because we are out-going doesn’t mean to say we don’t feel insecure. We are the epitome of “feel the fear and do it anyway.” We speak “even though our voices shake.” We get it done. But we don’t feel great all the time. We get sweats, our stomach churn and we know when eyes are raised to heaven in impatience, sometimes not even behind our backs.
But we know the buzz of getting it done and we like to share that. Please be as patient as you are supposed to be.
Extroverts do reflect
“The problem with introspection is that it has no end” Philip K.Dick
Introverts very often believe that we don’t reflect. We do. Just not in front of you. We get our energy from a group, but we do have moments of introspection. But sometimes you have to stop thinking and start doing. We are open to feedback and we are willing to change and incorporate your ideas. We can be self-aware. But you have to speak up. Introverts: we are not mind readers.
Extroverts do listen
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” Peter Drucker
Yes extroverts talk a lot. We are not keen on silence in groups. It feels awkward to us. We do fill the gaps. But if you talk we will listen. Rejection is something we all fear, especially by silence and withdrawal. That is a weapon of mass destruction for an extrovert. You have an understanding profile, so show us some. You can use that silence for a nice attentive listening filler “That’s interesting… let me think about that.” That way we won’t stand there feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed, while you stand there speechless.
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Extroverts like small talk
“I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk” Larry David
Despite what everyone thinks extroverts don’t like small talk either. But we do it. We breathe deeply and find something to say. Small talk adds value. You can’t meet a total stranger and go on to talk about the problems of the universe in the first 5 seconds. Small talk is a vital skill and one we extroverts have perfected. It cements a relationship. I agree, sometimes we talk at you – but, tell us to stop if you don’t like it. We do need to be told, because we are not great at picking up hints.
Are you an extrovert – do you have anything to say to introverts?
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